The ways I want to spend my summer.

Making money.

Finishing an album.

Making friends.

Laying out at the beach.

Playing shows.

Screaming at the top of my lungs. 

We won't stand for hazy eyes anymore

Taking Back Sunday hits me harder than any other day of the week. Especially Thursday.

#180

Deleted my Facebook today. All I did was save the pictures to my hard drive. Now, I don't have a reason to deal with stupid bullshit. This is a good first step towards growing up.

If you want to know what relaxation is like

You should definitely try running during the wee hours of the morning. I've never felt better.

I need this.

I can't stand anything right now. I need sleep medication. I'm probably going to develop a Benadryl addiction soon. I'm so tense, and everything hurts so bad, yet it all feels so distant. I'm alone, and I'm pushing people away. I figure making myself more lonely now will help me appreciate what I have later. Maybe I'm just tricking myself. Maybe loneliness is in my head. Our heads. Whatever. One day, I'm either going to die from this, or live to tell the tale, so to speak. I don't know which one I want more. How fucking lame am I? I think Taylor and I are the only ones left who still use this. And, not that his posts aren't important or heartfelt, but I invest so much more of my time in this. Constantly reloading, constantly checking this stupid blog that's fallen out of the peripheral vision of everyone's attention, just to see if anyone had anything to say about anything I feel. I don't want to ask people to read this because, well, it'd feel forced. How can anyone say I make a difference if I'm not even visible? It's fucking insanity. I'm fucking insane these days. I don't know what I need, but whatever it is, I need it so bad.

Abandon Ship

It's all right, it's okay. We were famous for a day.
It was good, so let's just stop. There's no shame in ending on top.

Digging

Tell me every single emotion that's behind all your metaphors.
Tell me why you post the quotes you do.
Tell me why you're so beautiful, yet so damaged.
Tell me why you love me, yet hurt me so much.
Explain to me what goes on in your head.
Explain why we both lay alone in our beds.
Explain the difference between just friends and together again.
Explain why I never know what's going on anymore.
Show me the eyes that used to seem so bright.
Show me the eyes we both shared after every fight.
Show me the things you do to help you feel okay.
Show me what you do to help you sleep at night.
Help me fix me.
Help me destroy me.
Help me rebuild me.
Help me feel me.