Sick

Lately, I seem to be stuck in a rut. I can't seem to catch a break.
My parents have been on my case so much lately.
My teachers at school are giving me shit.
I want to beat up a punk-ass Freshman.
My dad's an asshole, and I know it'll never change, yet I still love him.

I'm going to complain for the rest of this blog. I'm going to talk about things that still bother me, even though they shouldn't.

-I know it was such a long time ago, but why'd you do it? I just can't figure it out. Thinking about it still hurts just as much as it did when I found out.
-I'll never be good enough, will I?
-I know you're stressed out from work and other things, but why do I always get the barrel of the gun?
-You did a really good job of raising me, except for the fact that you always made me feel inferior.
-You were hardly ever there. Why do I always miss you? Why does it mean so much to me when you go to my meets?
-Why do you make things so hard sometimes?
-Must everything be school, and work, and school, and work?
-How come you never bring me good news anymore?
-All this shit goes on, and you sit there and tell me that I'm hard to talk to? You'd wonder why.
-I used to love talking to both of you, but you make it so hard to trust you with my feelings. I'm always hesitant to tell you things because you get so worked up over the smallest things.
-Lately, our schedule is: Morning- fight, afternoon-act like nothing happened, night-seemingly okay. Lather, rinse, repeat.
-I miss the old you.
-I miss the old you too.
-If you two didn't mean so damn much to me, I'd have left years ago.
-If I didn't take your feelings into consideration, I wouldn't be here right now.
-You gave me life, and I appreciate that. You don't seem to realize that you can also give me grief, pain, stress, love, happiness, and affection.
-Lately, it seems like those last three things have been coming less and less.
-I worry about your health. Both of you
-Why do I feel like you two don't care about me as much as I care about you?
-You provide me with shelter, and food, but is it wrong to ask for more?
-I love how you can sit there and tell me that you raised me right, then turn around and call me selfish, spoiled, and a brat.
-Why do I feel so bad right now?
-I don't see why you insist on sticking around. It seems all I ever do is disappoint you and let you down.
-Leaving me to walk home in the rain is one thing. But, when someone else needs the ride, why do they have to suffer?
-I already told you that your best friend is my 2nd period teacher, yet you still hound me for being late to class and helping keep your students in it? That's cold.
-You need to learn how to protect my artwork, dude. I'm sure that's not the only project that'll be stolen this year.
-I need some help, man. Is this the sickest case of karma, or what?
-You don't even know me. I hate you with a passion for what you did. The only thing that makes me smile about all this is that she still picked me, you stupid prick.
-I hate you too. How she fell for such a stupid line, I don't know. But, be wary. If I ever hear about you making a pass again, I'll rip out your throat.
-I don't know how you did it. Fucking bro. No matter. I hate you too.
-Those last three guys all have one thing in common.
-I hate the three of them for the same reason.
- I take back what I said about those three guys. I don't care about what they did, I don't care that it happened, and I don't care if it happens again. I'm really tired of all the nonsense.
-I'm tired of all this bullshit lately.
-Whatever has been keeping me from breaking down, thanks. I don't know what, or who you are, but you're saving my life.
-Lately, I've been picked on so much that I can feel it weighing down on me.
-I really want to cry right now
-I haven't been this angry and/ or sad in a while.
-I really hate everything right now.
-Give me reason not to give up