Track.

This year has been an odd experience for me so far. I feel like I'm fast, but my times are as slow as ever. I'm running shit in the 400, terrible in the 200, and I'm only winning in the 100. Yeah, I'm leading my team in points, but it's not like that won't change soon. I'm worried. I feel like I can handle all of this, but I feel so much more pushing me to stop. I almost stopped sprinting on Monday. It was ridiculous. I feel like I need to step it up more. I'm tired of being beaten by a guy who never goes to practice. Yeah, he's a fucking monster, but when does my ship come in? I work damn hard and I go to practice everyday. I even put in extra time and lift with the throwers. I am the hardest working person on my team. It bothers me to think that I just can't be fast. I can't be the sprinter that I see in myself. Tomorrow, we race Magnolia. I don't doubt that we'll win, but that doesn't mean I'm letting my guard down. I have a good shot at doing something good this year, and I'm not letting that fall out of my reach. I have to run a 52 split in the 4x4 on Saturday, even though I'm sick. I'll do it if it kills me. And, I want to break 11 in the damn 100. I get close, but just not close enough. I want to hit a mid 22 in the 200. These are my dreams right now. I want it. Hell, I need it. I need to do this. This is what I spent my last 3 years running for. I don't want to quit now. I don't want to lose anymore. And, I sure as hell don't want to disappoint anyone. This will be the hardest season of my life. And, it won't even be a battle against others. It's against myself.