What to do, what to do.

You know what I feel like right now? I feel like telling my best friend and his girlfriend to fuck off. I feel like telling my ex girlfriend to fuck off too. In fact, I feel like telling everyone to fuck off. You know why? Not just because they've all pissed me off today, but because this is what life is like for me. You three can't handle a fucking sliver of what my life is made of. So, go ahead. Be fucking bitches about everything. I'm tired of trying to be nice about all of this shit. I've been through worse. I've been so much farther down than you have. And, I know. TRUST ME, I know that it's not fair for me to say that I've been through worse than anyone else has because I'd never really know, but fuck that rule. Let's see how you'd do after 5 fucking years, Jonathan. Krista, you get mad because he won't leave his bestfriend to go be with you for an extra half-hour, seriously? ThatssofuckingstupidIhateyou. You get mad about a lot of dumb shit. So do I, but I don't make people feel bad for doing things I don't like. We're big kids now, remember?

I'm sick of girls, "friends", people, bitches, jerks, assholes, this, Anaheim, Pomona, promises, and stupid shit that always seems to get the best of me. Well, here you have it. Really, fuck all of the people who mean anything to me. Fuck you all. Find a new punching bag. Find a new shoulder to lean on. None of you, and I mean NONE of you were there for me when I needed it. And, yeah, it's my fault for not asking, and I don't blame you for not magically knowing and coming to my aid, but still. Whenever I did talk about it, all you fuckers did was try to cut me off and say something that would make me feel better. I DON'T WANT TO FEEL FUCKING BETTER. Nobody can do that for me, but myself. Don't any of you flatter yourselves. I'll feel better when I figure out how to do that. If anybody, and I mean ANYBODY wants to help me, you can either stay the fuck away from me or you can ask me if you can sit and listen to everything I have to say about all the shit that makes me cry every morning and every night. Try me. I promise you won't want to sit through half of it.

Now, if you still don't get it, leave me alone. I don't want to be friends right now. I don't want to talk about how hard things are for you. I don't want to hear about how stupid your boyfriend or girlfriend is being. I don't want to hear about how I did this wrong. Not today. And I sure as hell don't want to waste my fucking time pretending. I actually used to care about everything and everyone. After the last year and a half? Hell no. Fuck that. Fuck me, and fuck you for leaving me out to die.