Cliff Diving

I've been listening to Cliff Diving by Plus 44. It's a really good song, and though I may not particularly enjoy the chorus, I still like the song. The song, as a whole, has been making me think a lot.

I find myself day dreaming while listening to this song. All of a sudden, I have a ton of questions that fly right through my head, then in the same instant they appear, they leave. It's that kind of fleeting epiphany. I can't even explain it past that. Some of the questions I do remember are:

Will I ever be able to do things right?
Am I living in such a way that I might attain what I desire?
Will anyone be there when I die?
If so, will they be there to hold me, or kill me?
Will I be missed?
Will love prove to be everything everyone says it is, or will I find that yet again, people are wrong?
Will love save me, or end me?

Also, listening to this song makes me think about how I felt after Freshman year in high school. I think about all the people that have come and gone, as well as all the people I never got to know.

What's funny is this song makes me think of Kim. I know that I say I don't like her. That's because I don't. I'm not going to rant about all the things that I think are wrong with her because that makes me no better than she, not that my intention is to be better than her. My intention is to be the nicer person. I don't need to call someone fake, condescending, mean, or immature, even if that's how I feel about someone. At the same time, I don't need to insult anybody to try and make them understand that I love them because that doesn't show love in the least bit. All I can really say about this, and Kim, is that I wish Erin had never gotten close to her. She would have been so much better off without Kim.

I was talking to somebody very special recently, and I mentioned that I want things to go in the direction that they have been headed. I just wanted Kim to finally be done messing with Erin. Erin doesn't go out of her way in the least bit to talk to Kim. She doesn't want to deal with any of the baggage that comes with that relationship, and yet she can't seem to escape it. Maybe Erin does need to burn a bridge or two. I just hope that the bridge she burns has Kim on the other end of it.

Don't get me wrong. I don't care who Kim is friends with. She can be super duper best friends with all of my best friends and say every mean thing she wants about me. I just want her to leave Erin out of it. Hell, I'll take any kind of public defamation if it means that Kim would leave Erin alone. I'm just tired of seeing the girl I love get hurt by something she doesn't even want.

Just so some retard doesn't start talking a ton of shit because he or she doesn't actually understand what some words mean, I said I wouldn't rant about all the things I don't like about Kim, not that I wouldn't rant about her.

Just incase the point hasn't been made, if you ever write another email about some shit that you obviously misconstrued, twisted around, and blatantly did not understand, I hope you and all your uptight fucks of friends choke on the fat dick that is the truth.

Stay the fuck away from my girlfriend. She doesn't like you. Nor do I. Hell, you're not even one of "the guys" like you may think. So now, refer to the previous paragraph.

I got totally sidetracked, but I'm still quite upset about that stunt Kim pulled, and I really hope she tries something like that again. Then, we'll see who can be manipulative and nasty. You fucked with the wrong girl.