Seashell

I found you at the beach today. Everyone saw it, and said, "Wow, that's a big shell," and for the most part, it was. I just happened to see more than that. I saw something beautiful, and something that struck me as extremely familiar. This seashell meant a lot to me. On the outside, were ridges, holes, stains, and a crack. It showed imperfection, and on some level, a kind of struggle. But, on the inside, it was smooth, pearly, and had a color that just mesmerized me.

It just reminded me so much of our relationship. Everything we've been through, on display for the world. Everyone could see the rough parts, the holes, and the cracks in our relationship, but to those few who delved deeper, and looked under the shell, they saw beauty, happiness, color, and a simplicity hiding under a chaotic exterior.

It's just another shell to you, but it's a story about love to me.

A nice warming topic for once.

I was talking to someone really important, about something unimportant, when I had a bit of an epiphany.

Everybody wants to have sex with loads of people. Some part of you, no matter how small it is, wants it. We all do. But, there's always that one person who makes you think twice. Their presence makes a fork in the road. You look down both ends, and you wonder why. Why is it that this one person is making me choose? Logic would say, "Hang a right. There's a few good memories and stories to tell your friends." Not to mention, it's more than one person. More chances, right? Then, you look to the left, and although it doesn't seem as action packed, for some reason, you just can't pass it up.

It's that person. The one who makes you second guess what you're used to. The one who can get you to stop drinking because it hurts them, or the one who can get you to stop yelling when they cry. The one whose tears wet your eyes too. There will always be one person for you who's like that.

I've also had it pointed out that there can be more than one of that person in some cases, for some people. I answered that like this.

"Think of a puzzle. Now, there's a piece. There's only one other shape that fits there. There may be other pieces that fit into that slot the same way though. That's comparable to what you're saying, right?"

"Right"

"Well, even though the shape fits, the picture doesn't match up."

Yeah, we can love more than one person. Most people will fall in love with more than one person in the span of their lives. But, there will only be one "that" person.

It always makes me feel better when...

People I used to think were cute, see me and tell me that I've gotten better looking. It's always like a big "suck it" they throw in their own faces. Plus, it's not too bad for the self-confidence.

Bam.

It's 2:30 in the morning. I have class in 7 hours, which means I have to be up in 5 or so. Stayed up late again, but because I am genuinely sad. Legitimately, genuinely, undoubtedly sad. And, there's nothing I can do about any of this. At least, not right now.

Someday soon though. I'll break it. I'll break you, and you. However either of you chooses to break will be up to you, but you know why I'm so sad, and why I'm going to be this way.

I'm sorry you just don't get why I do these things.
I'm sorry you don't care why.
And, I'm sorry it's not what you want.
But, I'm most sorry for the fact that I'm doing this for you, and you don't care to do a thing for me.

Maybe, someday, you'll learn. And, I hope the next person will be as caring as I was.

-

Thanks for ruining my day again.