Man,

how things have changed in my views of you. You used to be so great in my eyes, but just as you said about something else, you have lost your shine.

It may be that I'm just a bit sad, and bitter because of what happened, or rather, didn't happen, but either way, I just can't help but feel you're kind of full of crap.

All in all though, I'm really happy that things are going well for you.

This is just me venting, and remembering what could have been a good friendship.

This is my goodbye, my closure, my au revoir.

So so so so lost.

Pomona. It could be my new home. I don't even know. I feel so drawn to it. It pretty much has my name on a banner with a welcoming party and everything. Well, not really, but you get it. I just, I don't know. I'm so afraid to go. It's not even that far, but I'm really afraid. I don't want to end up not talking to my closest friends. At the same time, I don't want to be left in the dust after this is over and done with. I once had a friend who found the perfect school for them. I was really, genuinely happy for them. We said we'd keep in touch, and we would hang out on the holidays and such, but it never happened. Just a bunch of empty words. I can't say I really remember all that much about our friendship now.

I guess, what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to become that way with my friends. I don't want to be the empty words in a text message, or on a computer screen. Maybe, I already have.
I don't know if I can take this step, even if it's what is best and what I want. I just, I don't know.

I really don't.

Unfinished business

Elton Chan - I know I don't write about you a whole lot, and at times, I feel like I don't know a lot about you. But, even so, you're one of the closest people in the world to me. And, though, we may not know everything about each other, we still get along great, and that's saying something. We didn't need to go through any emotional breakdowns, or revelations to realize that we would be great friends, and I'm glad I've gotten to know you over these past 6 years.

Mitchell Runion - I little bird told me about how you felt, and I'm sorry. It's not that I didn't have anything to say, and it's not that I don't have anything to say now. I just don't know how to say it. In case you didn't know, this is never a problem for me. I always know how to articulate what I'm feeling, but we all mess up sometimes. I know it's late, and long past due, but as far as it goes, you've always been someone I've respected and looked up to. I still look back on Freshman year, and eating lunch with you, and all the others. Ever since we met, I knew there was something special about you. Granted, it took others a while to see it, but that's just how some people work. You've always been a blast to be around, and you're hilarious. I think in some ways, I respect you so much because you're a man in my eyes. You're not a kid. You know when to be serious, when to goof off, and you act accordingly to the situation at hand. You always seem to have control, and that's something I've always admired about you. Again, you're no less important to me than the others. I was at a loss of words.

Bryan Hunt - Oh, goodness, man. You still amaze me to this day. I don't get how you can be so fucking goofy all the time, but when we have serious discussions and debates, put on glasses and pull out a book, figuratively speaking. You always seem to be one way, and then, you show me that you're the other as well. I guess, it's weird to me because you find that balance, not by combining them, but by showing us the different sides at different times. Either way, I love you, man. You're the best.