Pretty upset today, not going to lie about that. It sucks because I feel more alone than ever, and it's my fault. It's even worse because I just ran a pyramid work out. I haven't run in ages and could barely walk home, yet I still feel as terrible as I did earlier. How is it that I can exhaust myself to the point of a struggle, and I still have enough energy to wallow in bitter self-pity? And, it just feels so damn good to see how useless typing this shit is. How many fucking blogs have I posted? How many of them have helped me in the slightest bit? Fucking zero. Nothing makes me feel good these days. I don't know what the hell compels me to get my melancholic ass out of bed, and if it gave up on me tomorrow, I wouldn't care at all. Why should it matter if whatever I have left finally died? I don't even bother caring about anything anymore. All I know now is how to be an asshole. I just let my friends and family drown any time they ask me to help.
And, even now, all I can think about is how big of a fucking pansy bitch I'm being.
I wish I could turn my entire life into lyrics. Good lyrics. If you all heard the song that is my life, you'd never take out the headphones.
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