Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I Must Be Hateful

First off, I will start by saying I'm very blessed in many ways. I need not mention them because they aren't the focus of this blog.

I just can't help but feel that I'm unattractive, I can't sing, I'm slow, I'm short, I can't play the guitar, I'm a terrible skateboarder, I suck at being a friend, and I'm not a good boyfriend. No matter what I'm good at, or how blessed I am, there's someone who's better than me. I wish I was amazing. I'd like to know the feeling.

I'd like to meet the person who's completely blown away by who I am, and who will appreciate the little things I do.

But, it's not going to happen, and I'm asking for too much. I always ask for too much. I'm selfish.

I'm greedy.
I'm lustful.
I'm hateful.
I'm ungrateful.
I'm mean.
I'm superficial.
I'm perverted.
I'm gross.

You don't want me. I'm not good for you. For anyone.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Okay, where's the confidence I thought you had, man? You are super attractive. You CAN sing. Who cares if you're slow- you make sense to me more than anyone else I know. I'm short too. But that's life. You CAN play geetar. Are you kidding? And you're way good at skateboarding. And today I was just telling you of how such a good friend you are! And how do you know if you're not a good boyfriend? What defines a good boyfriend? You rushed to Oxford to ask your girlfriend to prom a second time because she wanted you to. Even though you thought it was lame, and thought it was madness. You still did it. Why? Because you knew it would make her happy.

And DUH. You're not the best at everything. There's ALWAYS going to be someone better than you. But that doesn't mean that you're not amazing.

And, you've met me. Are you kidding? You amaze me so much just by being who you are. I mean maybe I don't know you A LOT but I know enough to claim that you're a keeper. I hope you know that I freakin appreciate all the little things you do. Are you kidding? You must know that. I mean, you don't do a lot for me specifically. But you go to my shows and that means more than almost anything to me. Why do you go? Because you care enough to know that its important to me. You care enough to WANT to support me. And that, my friend, makes you amazing.

Sure you can be greedy, lustful, hateful, ungrateful, mean, superficial, perverted, and gross.. at times. But who isn't?

Honestly, when I think of you I think:

Happy (for the most part)
Helpful
Caring (is there such thing as caring too much? No. You care a lot, its clear. But not enough for yourself. Does that make sense?)
Talented (dang and you know it son)
&
Real. - best trait anyone can have, love.

I love you for who you are I wish other ppl can see it as much as I do.

Omar said...

That's probably the nicest thing I've ever heard. I love you, Valeroonie. <3